Those Advice shared by A Parent Which Saved Us during my time as a New Dad

"In my view I was simply just surviving for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

Yet the actual experience soon turned out to be "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Serious health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was forced into becoming her primary caregiver while also looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, each diaper… every walk. The role of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he reached burnout. It was a talk with his father, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he needed help.

The straightforward statement "You aren't in a good place. You must get support. How can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and start recovering.

His story is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now better used to talking about the stress on moms and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges dads go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan thinks his difficulties are linked to a broader inability to open up between men, who often hold onto negative notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing time and again."

"It's not a display of being weak to request help. I didn't do that quick enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be asking for help" - particularly in front of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the space to ask for a respite - taking a few days overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he had to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states alongside the day-to-day duties of looking after a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she was yearning" -physical connection and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will see as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the expression of feelings and make sense of his parenting choices.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says bottling up feelings led him to make "bad decisions" when he was younger to modify how he was feeling, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he says. "They can short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Advice for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you feel swamped, tell a friend, your other half or a counsellor what you're going through. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that helped you to feel like yourself before having a baby. It could be exercising, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical health - a good diet, getting some exercise and when you can, sleep, all play a role in how your mind is doing.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, as well as the positive moments, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that asking for help isn't failing - prioritising you is the most effective way you can look after your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead offer the stability and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their pain, changed how they express themselves, and learned to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… dealing with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, at times I believe my purpose is to teach and advise you how to behave, but actually, it's a exchange. I am discovering an equal amount as you are in this journey."