Not having the time of your life at university? You're not alone.

Robert Medhurst passed the majority of his first week at university browsing through digital networks, viewing updates about peers enjoying evenings out.

"I was just in bed," Robert remembers, depicting those days as the most solitary phase of his life.

Robert's flatmates rarely went out, and his course didn't feel very sociable.

Despite putting himself out there by attending trial events for different clubs, he couldn't find his people.

"I started to lose my self-assurance," he says. "I felt like people didn't want to become my friends, or they weren't fond of me."

Social Media Comparisons

Originally, Robert didn't plan of studying at university and had a job offer for after sixth form.

But then he observed his peers living it up as university attendees on social media.

"When you've got to get up for your job during the week at nine in the morning and you notice others went out on Wednesday night, you start feeling others have it better," Robert explains.

College Anticipations

TV shows and digital networks can idealize the notion of university living.

Lots of people arrive at college with great anticipations for what they believe could be the greatest period of their lives.

Some students come to university with "optimistic perspectives," notes a support services coordinator.

Survey Findings

• In a poll of new students initially, students' biggest concern was fitting in and feeling included
• In another survey through polling organizations, 17% of students said they lacked friendships at university
• A substantial portion mentioned they felt anxious regularly about building relationships

Personal Journeys

Alisha Miah's online videos was full of videos of peers socializing while sharing accommodation in student houses.

But when she relocated from London to Sheffield to learn reporting, she found freshers' week "overwhelming" because of the drinking culture it involved.

Alisha doesn't drink and had not experienced nightlife before.

"I actually passed considerable time initially in my room," she says. "I merely sensed somewhat isolated."

Psychological Aspects

In a 2025 survey of numerous college learners, nearly one-third reported they thought about withdrawing from studies.

The primary factor was their mental and emotional health, accompanied by economic considerations.

"Worry regarding all of these different things is extremely prevalent, and normal," explains a counselling expert.

Identifying Resolutions

Over periods, all three individuals eventually adapted and developed friendships.

She built connections through her course and via social media, while the individual experienced improvement once she was able to move in with friends.

Practical Advice

Regarding his experience, now 24 and in his last year, it was participating in theater activities and getting a part-time job that assisted in relationship building.

Robert's advice to beginning learners experiencing connection challenges is to just "get out of your room" and attend organization sample activities.

"Following several weeks of regular attendance, individuals become familiar with you," Robert says, "you notice their presence, and you start making friends."