Evening Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

TV's top comedians used the evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, called the "Trump card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys everything he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial plan that enables overseas nationals to acquire U.S. residence for an investment of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" option for 5 million. The program's portal pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One note for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, involving large fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – if it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people completely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll numbers during economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to discuss prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative news arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.